Purity culture became popular in many Christian communities in the 1980s and 1990s, emphasizing sexual abstinence before marriage as a sign of moral worth. Its intention was often to protect people from sexual harm and guide them toward committed relationships, but in practice it placed unrealistic expectations on women to guard men’s sexuality and sent messages that desire itself was dangerous or sinful.

If you were told your clothes could make boys stumble, wore a purity ring, or learned more about the dangers of sex than its goodness, purity culture has probably shaped how you see your body and sexuality.

The impact of these messages can last long after leaving the culture. People who are impacted by these beliefs often experience shame around natural (and God-given) sexual desire, pleasure feeling gross, or a sense of disconnection from their own body.

Therapy provides space to untangle harmful beliefs, rediscover your values, and embrace the fullness, safety, and goodness of God’s design for sex.

Sexual trauma or any kind of unwanted sexual experiences can leave lasting marks on both your body and your sense of self. You might notice that sex feels scary, or you may have lingering thoughts of past experiences that are distressing or intrusive. Pleasure may feel confusing or even uncomfortable, and intimacy might trigger tension, fear, or numbness rather than safety and connection.

These experiences can shape how you approach intimacy, sometimes leading to patterns of avoidance, obligation, or disconnection. Over time, shame, guilt, and self-blame can accumulate, making it difficult to feel at home in your own body.

Sometimes, these experiences can also lead to unwanted sexual behaviors—such as pornography use, compulsive masturbation, or other sexual actions that move toward sex in unwanted ways instead of away from it. These behaviors often arise as coping mechanisms, but they can create additional shame, guilt, or confusion, making it even harder to feel at peace with your sexuality.

Low sexual desire or a mismatch in desire between partners can feel confusing, frustrating, or even shame-inducing. You might notice that you want intimacy less often (or more) than your partner, feel pressure to “perform,” or wonder if something is wrong with you. These experiences often come with layers of history—past messages about sex, experiences of trauma, stress, relationship dynamics, or even physical factors can all play a role.

In therapy, we’ll take the time to explore your story, gently uncover what’s influencing your desire, and look at how your emotions, body, and relationships all interact. The focus isn’t just on changing your desire, but on understanding it, helping you feel more at home in your body and engaged with your partner.